May 15, 2013

Getting Dumped

Not that kind of dumped.

The kind of dumped nobody really told me about, nor was I really prepared for.

I'm talking about getting dumped by your friends for that really great guy, who then becomes that really great fiance, and then that really great husband.

The friendship status changes. And one-by-one it's happening with what is seemingly all (it's legit, let's not pretend) of your friends.

Don't get me wrong I am happy and excited for my friends as they each find that relationship, get engaged, and then hitched. But I have to be honest here too: It also sorta sucks. I get to witness one after another gush and go on and on about how awesome he is, all their dates and adventures, and then the gushing over the wedding details. Not a day goes by that I can't even log into Pinterest without wedding photos and articles right there in my face. For me though, the wrestling comes not with the jealous feelings toward them being in a relationship, whilst I remain single, but rather the morphing of our friendship. 

I'm trying to learn how to navigate this new phase, because I was naive to it's coming. I wasn't prepared for, or expected it really. It didn't occur to me that one day I'd wake up, and it would be different. Should it be different? Is it right? YES. It's right and good for them. Newly engaged and married couples should be a bit "obssessed" or "crazy" about one another. They're learning to become one after all.

In trying to keep that in mind though, it doesn't diminish the stinging much for when girls, such as myself, feel like we've suddenly become just another person on a Christmas card list or that friend who you maybe see every other month for a couple of hours at Starbucks.

While they mean well and are trying to be kind, I've easily grown tired of being the third wheel, or the token single girl. It's not a position I enjoy all that much. I almost wish you'd just exclude me and I'll wait for you to fit me in for coffee one-on-one… three months from now. It gets really hard and lonely sometimes.

My plea for maybe those of you who are dating, engaged and newly-married is this: Don't forget your friends!

**Next week I'm going to be collaborating on a post with a couple of gals of how marrieds can minister to their single friends, so keep an eye out for it!

6 comments :

  1. I totally understand, Natalie!

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    1. Good to know I'm not the only one =)

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  2. AH! so much yes in this post. it used to give me wedding fever when i saw friend after friend after friend after yet another friend show off pictures of their rings and gush all over facebook about how absolutely perfect this guy is and holy wow i grew really tired of it really quickly. i've learned not to let it bug me so much in the way of jealousy because i know that someday i will be able to have that wedding to an amazing guy, but all the same it is interesting that relationship switch that you don't really expect.

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  3. This is true, Natalie. Relationships do change in the setting you describe. No matter if friends marry or become engaged, relationships can still be nurtured and remain strong even if our lives do change. It just transitions into a "different" kind of relationship. Similarly, there are challenges in friendships with a wide age gap but then there comes a point when that doesn't matter as much.

    Either way, we all enter new seasons in life and sometimes that results in changes.

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  4. Ugh, I am so with you on this one. I've been hurt many times in this situation. I am the "token single friend" in my circle and it IS hard!

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  5. You are so not alone, I'm right here with ya! I feel like I'm losing all my friends.

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