February 11, 2013

Praying for Your Future Spouse

I am so excited to have Courtney back on the blog today talking about this topic. When she shared her love story here last year around Valentines Day, I remembered that she had mentioned prayer and fasting throughout it all. This struck me, as I have to confess I rarely pray for my future spouse. Think about him? Yes. Pray and fast for him? Um... not so much. So I've asked her to share more as I need to hear and receive this encouragement myself, and hopefully you do to. I absolutely love Courtney's blog and having been able to get to know her over the past couple of years (...which explains why I have her on here pretty regularly as a guest blogger ;D). Check out her blog, and enjoy!


Hey everyone! I am so excited to be guest posting for Natalie today. My name is Courtney and I write over at dress up & twirl. Natalie’s blog is one of my “regulars” that I read. She is always doing practical and helpful series for girls and I feel blessed to be a part of that. Today I am going to be talking about praying for your future husband and a little bit of my experience with that. 

I have been married for two and a half years. I met my husband Brian back when I was in high school. He was in college at the time and as a youth ministry major, he was interning with our youth ministry. I remember looking at him and just being in awe of how much he loved the Lord. He often taught on evangelism and the significance of the gospel. I just watched him and said, “Lord, I want to marry a man like that someday.” Being the shy, introverted girl that I was, I never talked to Brian...I almost completely avoided him, actually, out of fear that I would be awkward in front of him. But I kept watching him and became so attracted to his love for Jesus. Soon my prayer of “Lord, I want to marry a man like that someday,” became “Lord, I want to marry him someday!” 

At the time I remember thinking that nothing would ever happen between us...at least not for awhile. To me, he was this spiritual giant and I was this little girl who could barely pray in front of people without my voice shaking. Still, in my journals and in my time of prayer I was very open with the Lord about my feelings for this man. 

A couple years past and I had gone away to college and had gone through a couple of bad breakups and had a lot of emotional baggage. Relationships were something that I hadn’t given God full control of. Finally, after so much pain, I told God, “Okay...I am giving You control of my relationships now. I am not going to be in another relationship until I am ready to get married.” Now, for the record, I do not exactly believe in “courtship.” I am not against courtship, but I also believe that you can date different people before you get married, have healthy boundaries, get to know people, and do it all in a godly way. However, for me, this was what I needed to do because of my background. I was done with heartache and just decided that the next guy I dated would be the man I married, whenever that would be. 

One of the scriptures that ministered to me a lot during this time was Zephaniah 3:17-20:
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." "The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from you; they are a burden and a reproach to you. At that time I will deal with all who oppressed you; I will rescue the lame and gather those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put to shame. At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before your very eyes," says the Lord.
This scripture reminded me that he would heal my heart and not leave me in shame, but restore to me a (godly) man in his timing. So I clung to this scripture and prayed that God would be faithful to this promise.

A few months later and still very broken, I decided that I was going to spend the next three weeks fasting and praying for my future husband. This time of fasting was really a healing process for me. I did the Daniel Fast and spent that time praying that God would give me the grace to wait for the one He had for me. The funny thing is that a couple days after I broke my fast, Brian and I had a run-in after a couple years of not seeing each other. A mutual friend, who is my mentor, had us over for a party and we chatted a little bit. Little did I know that Brian had said something to my mentor about how I would be an awesome wife to someone one day. God was definitely moving! I still had some healing to do and so nothing could happen for a little while longer, but I had caught my man’s eye

Finally, after a little more time, the Lord had healed me and I was experiencing full joy in Him. I was so free from all the baggage I had been carrying around. I felt my worth without a boyfriend--for once! And this whole time I had no idea that Brian had his eye on me. We hung out a few more times with some mutual friends and then began talking...finally, he asked to get coffee together...and then, He asked me about being in a relationship with him. I knew this was the Lord and his timing. Everything was coming together... my prayers and feelings for Brian from so many years back... experiencing God’s healing and joy... praying that the next guy He brought to me would be my husband. We took some time to pray separately and with our mentors before entering a relationship, just to use wisdom and make sure it was the Lord... but I already knew it was. 

I’m sorry this is long, but I felt like I needed to share everything to make a few points about praying for your future husband:
  1. Look at your desires. Psalm 37:4 says that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will gives us our heart’s desires. A delight in the Lord brings godly desires. If you truly desire to have a God-honoring marriage one day, guess what--that is a godly desire! Fall in love with the Lord and pray that He will give you your heart’s desires!
  2. When praying about a particular man, be open with God about your feelings. He already knows anyway
  3. God moves when we fast! I highly encourage taking periods of time every now and then to fast (could be from food, tv, internet, etc.) and using the time to pray about and for your husband and future marriage. Pray that God would strengthen you so that you can wait on Him. Pray that He would make you the woman you need to be for your husband one day. Pray that He would be strengthening your future husband’s relationship with Himself. Pray that He would orchestrate everything according to His will.
  4. Pray with the mentors and leaders in your life. Be open and honest with them about your feelings. There is so much power in prayer and the more righteous people praying with and for you, the better. James 5:16 says that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
  5. Know that the Lord's will is the only will that you will truly be satisfied in. Trust His will. Give Him control.
I pray this post encourages you to pray about the man who will love you like Jesus and lead you closer to Him one day. I am thankful that the Lord was faithful to me and am confident that He will be to you as you draw closer to Him.

Visit and follow Courtney's blog dress up and twirl here, and check out her love story here from last year.

*Photography by Jennifer Ashli

20 comments:

  1. This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL Courtney! I LOVE this love story...it's so centered around the Lord. And you were a stunning bride!!!!

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  2. Thanks for this Courtney! Loved it =D

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  3. This was just what I needed to read today, Courtney! Thanks for sharing!

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  4. Oh Courtney. I knew most of you and Brian's sweet story before, but I loved learning new details. You two are an amazing testimony of God's amazing timing and love for us!

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  5. I so appreciate you sharing your insight and perspective, Courtney! I pray for my future husband often but I hadn't thought of fasting for him as well. I also agree with Katie...you were a stunning bride! And now a stunning wife!

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  6. Thank you everyone! Thanks for having me Natalie! God is good, all the time.

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  7. I so love your perspective in this article and your focus on glorifying God in your relationship. My story of how I met my husband (also named Brian) is really similar! It's so funny how once I finally gave my relationship status over to God, he brought the one!

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  8. This is so incredibly helpful because I've been struggling with loneliness at times, and I've been wanting to know how to pray for a future husband. Thank you so much, Natalie and Courtney, for the godly post!

    Love,

    Anna

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  9. LOVED THIS! I'm fasting now for my Career and my future husband!!! Thanks for the ideas and the recommended bible verses.

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  10. I am going through so much right now. I have been in so many relationships. And I've had sex in marriage. Then divorced then had sex outside of marriage out of the loss of true love in marriage. Recently God allowed my bf and I to break up. I've been drinking and getting high and tonight, I just searched if I should pray for a husband. Suddenly after reading ur blog, I cried about the possibility of something the enemy stole ( the faith in a God blessed marriage) could be rekindled in my spirit. And God used ur blog to convict me to come to full surrender of ALL Things sexual, chemical, emotional, mental anything hindering my relationship with him. May God bless u sister. I ask for prayer I come from a sexually abused background. Thank you and I will see u in heaven. ♡ :") call me beloved.

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  11. Thanks for sharing ur story with us,it really encourages me ,to continue pray for my future husband and marriage, I believe that one that I will share my testimony with u-that GOD has answered my prayers.I'M REALLY BLESSED TODAY OF THIS STORY,MAY THE LORD CONTINUE TO BLESS UR MARRIAGE

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  12. Thank you!! What an encouragement!!

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  13. Courtney, this is beautiful! I will definitely take all of your advice.

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  14. My GOD!!! I've always prayed for my Mr. Encourager( Future Husband), but recently I was challenged my the Spirit to pray for a specific person and fast. I was just sitting here like Lord is this really what you want me to do and is this even appropriate, and of good ol google led me here. I can't wait to post God's miraculous hand in my sweet ministry of marriage. If you righteous woman could so kindly join me in prayer for my Mr. Encourager.God Bless you mighty woman of great courage and grace! LOVE YOU ALL!

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  15. Thank you for sharing this post! It was soo helpful! I hope you have a beautiful marriage :)

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  16. Thank you Courtney and Nathalie. Its so great to have access to this platform. I've wondered for such a long time if it was ok to pray for someone specifically. After several relationships and heart breaks I've come to that place you did courtney, I want the next relationship I am in to be with my husband. I recently met someone my mentor had spoken to me about, her long time friend who she had showed me a picture of and I was instantly attracted to. We met this friday and physically he was attractive but what was more attractive was his heart, his behaviour with his children and who he was...a God fearing, God loving man with passion and authority. I left that night besotted and wasn't sure how to pray about it all, whether it was right for me to pray for him specifically and I asked the Holy spirit to lead me. I'm so grateful for this and will be fasting and praying. Thank you Ladies...God bless you.

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  17. I love your inspirational story Courtney. I have just came to realization that one cannot do anything without involving the lord. what amazed me the most is that you said you "fast" I have been praying for over four years to find a future husband and has not been successful but i never think of fasting. I will be fasting as of tonight and i am sure God will be sending me my future husband.

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  18. This is very inspiring...I just decided last night that I would do the same thing. This is confirmation.

    Thank you for sharing! You never know who you are touching

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