July 17, 2012

Disappointing Others

I hate disappointing someone. 

I really do.

I hate how my stomach just plummets when I realize I have to give somebody news that I don't want to tell them. When I have to take a rain check on a meeting, appointment, or opportunity for one reason or another. 

See, I'm a people-pleaser. I walk through life on egg shells because I don't want to anger, hurt, or disappoint people. I beat myself up over it... even when it's not my fault... even when it's people I hardly know. In the back of my mind I'm always thinking about how I can live up to the standard another has of me... even though half the time I don't have a clue what their standard even it. And it's frustrating. 

Today I had to take a rain check that I didn't want to. I had thought that I could make it work out, but I simply can't. There's nothing I can manipulate or control to make it happen. And it's a bummer to the other person. 

But I think it may be even more of a bummer for me actually, because I'll be beating myself up over it for the next couple of days. 

I'm really sorry about it all.

I hate to dwell on the thought that they're angry with me.

This is all just to say it sucks to let down a person.

5 comments :

  1. aww, i know exactly how you feel. theres nothing i cant stand more than when people are disappointed or upset with me. i am a people pleaser too, and although it can be a strength sometimes (to a very certain degree), i generally wish i was NOT a people pleaser. praying that you can give yourself grace.

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  2. yuck I hate disappointing people. But at the same time, if I have no control about such disappointment, I have to ignore my pride, swallow my guilt and say sorry. There's nothing more I could do, so why beat myself about it? The person should know I'd never do anything on purpose to disappoint. :)

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  3. I completely resonate with your heart, one that cares about others so much. I feel like I'm just beginning the process of allowing God to help me soak in HIS truth about who I am no matter what happens. It's been a rather liberating experience....thanks for being real, and excited to journey with you in all this! love Katie

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  4. I can totally relate Natalie! I hate letting people down, but we aren't perfect. I dwell on things way too much and since my husband has to hear about it he reminds me there are things you just have to let go of. Hope you can let go of whatever is eating at you girl!

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  5. I can relate to this feeling. Try not to beat yourself up over it too much -just remember that it happens to everyone.

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